Hi, A million of words and faces have run across my mind. Sometimes I wonder what you are doing and how are you feeling. Despite being busy, I wonder if you feel the same emptiness… More
“What’s wrong with postponing the celebration?”
After all of our conversations, I became more and more disappointed with your words. What is exactly “keeping your word” means to you? To me, words hold immense power and emotion for us. Words can win the hearts and minds of people to a cause, or send somebody crashing to the depths of despair.
You always asked me if I am ready for marriage and that you are really ready for a commitment. You should probably ask yourself if you are seriously ready for marriage. Now that you tell me you want to postpone the marriage because there are lots of issues we haven’t sorted out. So what do you mean by you are ready for marriage but wants to postpone the celebration? Are you seriously ready for a marriage? Haih.
When you tell someone that you will want to get marry soon, it’s a big promise. A promise that is so easily thrown around. A promise that means a lot to someone. So what made you say that you want to marry me? Whatever it was that made you feel the need to say it, just know that you didn’t have to. Any girl who is in this situation will tell you they would’ve rather you didn’t say it in the first place instead of giving them false hope. Because that is what this is, you have given me false hope. And the problem with giving someone false hope is that you will never know when is their last hope.
You know it is better to stay silent sometimes than creating a storm in someone’s soul. I know that you are just a human being. You have a heart, you have a mind.. But so do others. Do not say something that you don’t mean it. Do not promise the moon if you can’t even catch the stars.
Just stay silent when you don’t mean your spoken words. Because outside is a spring, and it is a shame to create autumn in someone’s soul.
What are words if you don’t mean them when you say them?
No matter where you are now or what problems you are facing, I hope you didn’t give up. The journey to your dream isn’t gonna be smooth. Sometimes you are gonna encounter a detour and you will be confused. Sometimes you are going to be lost and discouraged.
But obstacles and rocks are part of one’s journey. No one is exempted from feeling the pain. Life may get ugly sometimes – but that’s okay.
What’s important is how you pick yourself up after a fall, how you become a better person after making mistakes. I hope you don’t get tired and quit now. I hope you can see how much you have conquered and I hope you realize to see how lucky you are.
I pray that you won’t let go of your passion because of one failure. Be the person who is excited about everything. Forget about what people think about you. Laugh as loud as you want. Talk as much as you want. Show the world how big is your heart.
I hope you don’t get scared to become who you want to become. I hope you own your dreams and be proud of them. Don’t be afraid of taking chances because not every decision in life is safe. Sometimes you have to risk it.
I hope you do what you are passionate about. Because the best feeling in the world is being successful in doing what you love.
Stay with your passion and don’t give up.
I don’t have much to do at home. No work, no studies, and just plain resting. Maybe I should start counting ants again.
What’s your favorite thing to do when you are bored at home?
Gonna read this book and share my favorite quotes from this book. This book is rather a good book about two person who is not afraid to try to love despite challenges in their lives and the fact that first love doesn’t last.
You are my favourite person of all time.
Wokah. Seriously, I don’t know what am I feeling.
Your eyes… I look into your eyes and I am confused. HAHA
Thank you for dropping by. Thank you for bringing a sick person out for a movie just because she wants to get some fresh air. Thank you for making me feel comfortable when I’m with you.
Guess we wouldn’t meet each other anymore after this weekend. It was nice knowing you. It was nice knowing someone who share so many common interests. 🙂
1 Universe, 9 Planets, 204 Countries, 809 Islands, 7 Seas, and I had the privilege to meet you.
I have this weird pain on my abdomen for 5 days and I thought the pain was just a normal menstrual pain. So I kinda ignored the pain and still goes to church and work. Yesterday, walking seems to be more and more difficult. I can barely walk far or drive too. The aching pain on my right abdomen is becoming significant to the extend that I can’t ignore it anymore.
But I thank God for sending someone to remind me of Dr Basel and even helped me to call him on my behalf. So here I am, writing this post in KPJ Specialist Hospital while waiting for Dr Basel to cut me open. Even though my surgery is just a minor one, I’m scared. I don’t know how my dad actually stayed so calm before and after his major surgery. I am trying to stay calm, like really calm for mom. I can tell that mom is super worried, all my relatives are here to support her. Thank you everybody for your prayers and support. Thank you for all those lovely gifts and texts! Wish me luck!
And to that someone:
Thank you for reminding me of Dr Basel. Thank you for helping me to contact him too. And most of all, thank you for distracting me when I’m feeling scared and nervous. Thank you for everything.
All is well.
Yup, I’m feeling nervous.
I’m going out for a dinner with someone whom I haven’t met before.
They said the first dinner shouldn’t be something that takes a lot of time?
Or maybe should I drive tonight? HAHA.
Don’t think it will work out anyways. I am way too selfish.
It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out?
Today, my family set up for another blind dinner date. I understand that they have good intentions and want to introduce someone they know that they “think” would be perfect for me. My mom said, take a chance. And so I accepted it. I didn’t dressed up to impress but of course, decently with no make ups. Anyway, I am not a girl who wears make up everyday unless it is for a special occasion. Duh. So I head over to the restaurant with my mom and relatives. His family was already there, and he was seated in between his parents.
His aunty recognized me right away and was so excited because she saw my pictures on billboards and advertisements. I’m not famous yo but it became a hot topic for the night. Geez. He who was sitting directly opposite me, looks amazing. He is tall, smart and handsome. He dressed up well, and he seems to be a nice person.
Finding a lover sounds beautiful, isn’t it? A person to date. A person who goes for pizzas and movies with. A person to open your life to, give your heart to, who you can see yourself with, years and years down the road. I’m not looking for somebody with superhuman gifts. To me, he just need to love God more. Because that’s the first and the greatest commandment. Simple.
Despite so, finding that person can be scary too. There are so many rules in today’s dating world. A lover is supposed to be smart, pretty, sexy, and reliable, right? His family definitely expected higher requirements but was quite impressed with me and they were very anxious to know about our second date.
It happened real quickly. There weren’t any mixed signals. There wasn’t a bit of uncertainty. I knew I’d be asked out on a date before leaving. Before I even reach home, there was already a text. Conversation flowed naturally and next thing I know, I’m finding out someone’s entire life story who I hadn’t known 24 hours ago.
He didn’t try to say all the right things, he didn’t try to be the man I wanted. He wanted to be that man I needed to fix my heart. He’s a great guy but he doesn’t seem to be the one. I’m sorry.
I know his family and mines are very excited about us. But I’m sorry for making him fall at the first sight. I’m sorry that I couldn’t fall in love with him now because I am still caught in the mess of someone else. I cannot love him now because I am too selfish and too determined in being the girl on her own. I want to explain it to him, this is what I’m going through right now. But he deserves a fair shot. I don’t wanna make him feel exactly the way someone else has made I feel that he is not good enough.
I hope that they will understand that I am not broken or weak. I just can’t love him right now, can’t love at all right now. I know sometimes we don’t have to do alone, just maybe all it takes is just one person to teach us the pain we feel right now and everything we’ve been holding on to for this long is what we can let go of. But I need some time to breathe. I need time to figure out myself. Because right now I know I may get lonely, but I don’t mind being alone.
“…all people needed was time and then they could figure most things out of themselves.”
For no reason.
I felt so embarassed.
Breathe in, breathe out.
But I will try my best.
Even if I fail, I will try.
While Z and I was walking down the hallway, you only smiled and talked to Z even though I said “Hi”. Probably because Z is rather an important person or someone whom you are closer to or maybe prettier. Or worst, you probably didn’t see me. But that’s okay.
Being ignored is quite a common incident everywhere. Think of a time when you are being ignored. Being left out and pushed away, day after day, I’m sure many of you have suffered this before. Being ignored is indeed a bullying tactic. It can be extremely painful and it is rather difficult to get over the bad feelings.
In every defining moment, I’d still believe in hope. Hoping that things will get better eventually. When you first get a job, when you first moved in to a new place – nothing works out planned. It is a harsh reality but it will get better. So here are my suggestions to be HAPPIER! Of course you need to be happy. After alls, it is your life. Not theirs.
- Accept the fact that they are ignoring you. Face the fact and move on.
- Talk to people. You definitely have some friends to cheer you up. So go. Talk to your friends.
- Take a break yo! Go and have fun. All day work makes Jack a dull boy. It is time to party.
- Stop thinking about negative thoughts. Because your brain tend to make up stories sometimes. It makes you feel even more frustrated. Ignore negative thoughts.
After alls, there are things we will not understand. Some things we will be unable to change. One thing we can change, protect and empower is ourselves. Keep protected. The truth will rise to the top and keep shining.
Ignore me, that’s cool too!
The feeling of not being able to forgive
Will eventually eat you up
So choose to forgive
Forgetting isn’t easy
Thus, reconciliation isn’t always necessary
The world is so beautifully crafted
Yet the people who lives in this beautiful world
Are wearing masks of different characters
Speculating on different of rumours
What’s true and untrue cannot be differentiated
It’s so hard to remain calm
And you can’t reconcile
So keep quiet and walk away
It is time to do something right
And let your light shine through. 🙂