Yes, I will.

tumblr_lfmynfuonb1qah2fqo1_500

Hi,

A million of words and faces have run across my mind. Sometimes I wonder what you are doing and how are you feeling. Despite being busy, I wonder if you feel the same emptiness like I do throughout the day.

Every temptation to text you gets too much and I will have to bite it back and tell myself that no good will come from it.

People tell me that I should let go of you instead of hoping that we are back together again. I want to tell you the truth. The truth that I have meet so many people, but it is you that I cared the most. I have so many other options, but it is you that I chose. Honestly, I have too little courage to tell you. But in your silence, I have already found my answer.

Today, I am writing to tell you that I am letting you go. I have decided to let you go not because I have stopped loving you or I have found another. For as much as I want to help you, I want to help myself too. Since you are no longer holding unto us, I want to be selfish now because it is the best for me.

Time spent with you was never about troubles, disgrace or disagreements, but instead a moment that I will miss. I know God has bigger plans for us. If God wants something huge from me, I must be more willing to let it go. If losing contact with you is part of God’s plan, I’d rather not hear anything from you. I gave you to God because I know God will be able to fix what is broken than I do.

So, please understand that if I do not send a text, it doesn’t mean I do not care anymore. I would say I still care very much. I’ll love you for accepting me to be your girlfriend and inspires me to become a better one. I’ll love you for the short period of companionship and friendship that we have shared. I’ll love you enough to let you go so that you could do more, feel more and be more than the person you could ever become than being by my side.  I’ll always pray for your happiness like how I pray for mines.

I can write the saddest lines tonight. To think I don’t have you, to feel I have lost you. I chose not to. I choose to give you up for God. And these are the last lines I will write for you.

Tonight, this is my parting, my reluctance and my final gift to you.

Tonight, I am letting you go.

Yes, I will.

Close your eyes, seal your heart and let it go.
Advertisements

I am bored.

I don’t have much to do at home. No work, no studies, and just plain resting. Maybe I should start counting ants again.

What’s your favorite thing to do when you are bored at home?

Image result for eleanor and park book

Gonna read this book and share my favorite quotes from this book. This book is rather a good book about two person who is not afraid to try to love despite challenges in their lives and the fact that first love doesn’t last.

Image result for eleanor and park quotes

Image result for eleanor and park quotes

Image result for eleanor and park quotes

Image result for eleanor and park quotes

You are my favourite person of all time.

For the love of…PIZZA

img_8814

The year of 2016 is going to end and my Instagram is full of engagement photos. It’s great that friends are getting hitched and people are in love.

Because I have too many weddings to attend, I need to eat so clean like, real clean to shed some weight. Just to look perfect in the dress. But soon, I’m so going to eat pizza like it’s a party!

I’m so so in love with pizzas!

 

 

NEVER KNEW YOUR SMILE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME

img_20161022_085341

Sitting right beside you, counting every independent unassisted movement.

Sitting right beside you, thinking how much I used to dislike you.

Sitting right beside you, realizing that you are a new person.

Sitting right beside you, I am your physiotherapist and friend.

I knew you were the most determined, the most hardworking patient, but nothing could ever prepare me for what was about to happen.

I thought the best gift I can give to anyone in this world – time. Something that money can’t buy.

I thought, I truly thought I did enough.

I was wrong.

I never knew this would happen.

Truth is, we can never be prepared. Nothing is enough. Enough to save a life.

I think I lost a patient. A friend.

Just so you know, I would give anything to listen to you talk on and on and on again.

.

It’s funny how things can change so suddenly. 

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

Calligraphy Fonts

That’s what you texted today. I decided to write down because I just feel sad and empty. I write because you exist in my life. The day could have been of good food and family – you know, things that make you feel happy when you are back to church with family and friends. But, I had to suck it all up.

It feels daunting when someone gives you a math problem to solve, asking you not to give up and when you are halfway through, the person snatches it away from you. Many patients asked us to let them go. I am no stranger to such words, but this time, I felt drenched in shame that in the darkest time of his life, my patient could not bring himself to trust me one more time. Because he thinks that I have too much on my plate.

What I wanted to say, I couldn’t say it. Nothing I say matters now. You wouldn’t listen. But I really wanted to tell you that the amount of stress I have is mines. And not yours. What I am going through is what I needed to go through. What you are going through is what you needed to go through to be a better person too. I just need you to trust me a little more that I can help you, I can help others, I can work and study at the same time. Just that. Is that too much to ask?

So I expect too much from you, cared too little and now it is too late to regret.

Being a physiotherapist can be emotionally punishing, sometimes thrilling and sometimes sobering. Once, I selfishly wished that someone else had faced all these instead of me. Haha. But overall, the best thing about being a physiotherapist was that you always go home with life lessons that made you a better physiotherapist tomorrow.

Today, I wrote it down because one day when I look back into my life, I know all that I’ve done has been in the name of love.