I’m happy for you

I’m so glad that you found her. I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.

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Here’s what fairy tales won’t tell us – sometimes, we don’t get to keep the person that you thought you could.

Continuing to love someone is like having your heart run over and over again by a train. The pain stops for a while, but you know it will always come back to haunt you again.

But that was the thing of the past. I’m happy he found her. Sounds plastic, I know. But I realize I actually do mean it.
Now, there’s nothing left for me to do but sit here, hoping that one day, the stars will align and allow us to cross paths again. And I pray, by that time, I’ll have the courage to smile to say “I’m happy for you.”
And honestly, I’m happy for you.

A gift.

I remember I was sitting in a large room for a meeting, putting up my hand, giving ideas even though it was scary for me, and then being ignored by the boss. My boss was listening to everybody’s ideas but not mines. I tried very hard to express myself, tie a ribbon to the gift to make it look appealing, but I was drowned out. The gift was snatched and it fell on the cold ground.

Then, another person will pick up the gift when there is nothing left and use my gift to impress another. I guess life is like that. Being so unfair. Acceptance of a gift is based on the looks of the giver, the color of the giver’s hair and etc. It makes my heart hurts just to think about it. Because I’m a human. Just like you, I yearn to be acknowledged and appreciated.

You, me, have gone through good and bad times. Sometimes, you think that you did your very best but you didn’t do enough or weren’t appreciated by others. Period. They said, nobody should ever question your worth. I guess it is true. You have to love yourself more, sometimes. You owe yourself the love that you are giving freely to others. You did your best and you deserve a huge pat on your back. Don’t just bash yourself for not being good enough. To be honest, how good is good?

In this world, there are scientists who died without their theory accepted, researchers died without their work being acknowledged. But I just want you to know that you are good enough. Your mind was just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

But I’m here to tell you that you don’t need people who don’t appreciate you.

You know you have great ideas. You know you have wonderful thoughts. You have worked your ass off to complete a project. And you don’t need others to applaud. It’s hard, isn’t it? As much as we try to dismiss it, our worth is often based on the opinions of others. But it can’t go on like this. Life is gonna be miserable.

Instead, just be happy with your every gift. Tie a shinny ribbon around it with perfect wrapping. Place it under the tree. Then walk away. Leave with a smile, because you gave and the creation of the gift makes you happy. Maybe one day, your gift will make others happy. That’s all that matters.

“You don’t need anybody who doesn’t need you. Focus on who appreciates you.”

Why are you dying to be perfect?

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Sometimes, putting thoughts into words would hopefully makes sense on the next day.

Dreams. I day dream a lot. Like, a lot. However, night dreams about falling off stairs is a common thing for me. The word “perfection” would be the culprit behind it. So I was thinking about it.

Well, people say that I deserve all the good things in the world. As I could just thank them shyly for being so lovely with their words, I can’t help but think that hey, I’m not all that they give me credit for. I’m a mess, a bundle of flaws too. It is amazing they see how God works in my life and how lovely, that they see me in a much better light.

But deep inside me, I am so imperfect.

Why are you, why am I trying to be perfect? Why are you, why am I spending time beating myself up for not being good enough? Why are you, why am I not able to give myself a pat on the back when someone compliments? Why are you, why am I comparing myself to better/smarter/more beautiful people than me? Why are you, why am I thinking about issues that are absolutely unnecessary but I do so anyway?

I have to admit that I strive very hard for perfection but again, who is God if I am perfect? God is perfect and I’m just that imperfect. “Perfection” is just a myth.

So here’s to everybody: Stop trying to be perfect. Focus on the whole human package and appreciate the faults. Find the beauty of imperfections and enjoy how you got there. Because the flaws of a person tell a great story, an unique story. Be this beautiful mess, stitched up with good intentions, and inspire others.

 

Sorry, I am not perfect.

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

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That’s what you texted today. I decided to write down because I just feel sad and empty. I write because you exist in my life. The day could have been of good food and family – you know, things that make you feel happy when you are back to church with family and friends. But, I had to suck it all up.

It feels daunting when someone gives you a math problem to solve, asking you not to give up and when you are halfway through, the person snatches it away from you. Many patients asked us to let them go. I am no stranger to such words, but this time, I felt drenched in shame that in the darkest time of his life, my patient could not bring himself to trust me one more time. Because he thinks that I have too much on my plate.

What I wanted to say, I couldn’t say it. Nothing I say matters now. You wouldn’t listen. But I really wanted to tell you that the amount of stress I have is mines. And not yours. What I am going through is what I needed to go through. What you are going through is what you needed to go through to be a better person too. I just need you to trust me a little more that I can help you, I can help others, I can work and study at the same time. Just that. Is that too much to ask?

So I expect too much from you, cared too little and now it is too late to regret.

Being a physiotherapist can be emotionally punishing, sometimes thrilling and sometimes sobering. Once, I selfishly wished that someone else had faced all these instead of me. Haha. But overall, the best thing about being a physiotherapist was that you always go home with life lessons that made you a better physiotherapist tomorrow.

Today, I wrote it down because one day when I look back into my life, I know all that I’ve done has been in the name of love. 

Dear Students,

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Though each of you are wearing the same uniform, each of you have your own versions. The most common scene will be students staring at their phones and not communicating with friends. That’s the latest trend eh?

So many students with so many different characteristics. Some are happy, some are sad, some are rude. Some of you always ask for assistance in studies, some of you decided to keep quiet ALL the time.

But because of you, I learn too. As we are discussing, I learn about myself, I learn about you all and I learn about conflicts in general. When you kept quiet, I would learn how to smile and reassure you that you can ask any questions at any time. Sometimes I do get annoyed with student’s behaviour, but I learn that you could be struggling with many things that I may not know about. So I treated you the way I would want to be treated during a bad day.

I learn to accept all of you and treat you like equals, like the adults. I believe that people will learn more through interaction than long winded lectures.

So I want to thank all of you for giving me a chance to learn from you all. I know I can never learn enough, just like how I can’t teach you everything. But I hope you learn to make it on your own and go change the world.

Sincerely,

Your lecturer.

 

In learning, you will teach. And in teaching, you will learn. – Phil Collins

 

How to stay motivated at work

I am excited to work almost everyday. So here am I, giving you tips on how to stay motivated at work!

Positivity. You really need that. I know it is hard to stay motivated. Perhaps you are bored or tired. Or you lose interest in whatever you are doing.

1. Never be afraid of failure. If fail, then fail la. Try again lor. 

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2. Focus on the your work, not counting your time. I guess I have the passion la.

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3. Eat breakfast like a king, before starting work. Most of the time I don’t, but now I’ll try la.

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4. Create a to do list. Mines is like infinity to do list. Adui. 

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5. Take care of yourself physically too. Lets be honest. I run because I don’t wanna look bulat.

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6. DAYDREAM like me! Or maybe a joker. haha

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You just need to be more positive like me. You only live once, so live it to the fullest. 🙂

 

Happy people shine brighter.