Her.

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Texting her in the mornings.

Asking her questions.

Being thankful and impressed by all she did.

Looking forward to see her.

That’s what you used to do.

You used to think that God send her to you.

But somewhere, somehow, you begin to expect things of her.

You did things because you felt you had to, not because you wanted to.

And suddenly you stopped meeting her halfway.

You told her when and where to come.

Then cancel hours before.

Her love and presence becomes inconvenient.

You stopped answering when you wanted.

And she stumbled through confusion wondering what would be her mistakes.

She talked to you but you never listened.

Words were filling time and space but nothing was being said.

You liked her for the way she made you feel.

She made it easy for you.

The less you tried, the more effort she put in. Just to make you stay.

She build you up but all you did was to knock her down.

You stopped being what she needed and she stopped being what you wanted.

You stopped trying.

And suddenly you become strangers, afraid to make any move.

The truth was you ran out of things to say.

But she still loved you.

She’d still chose you.

The only thing harder than falling out of love is being in love and watching someone fall out of love with her. Knowing that she can’t do anything about it.

It broke her when she realized she has to choose herself now.

Because in a crowded room where she felt alone, invisible and empty, giving all her pieces to make you whole, she caught the eye of a stranger.

He asked if she was seeing anyone. And the truth was yes. But she shook her head because she knew she couldn’t hold onto something that isn’t there anymore.

And that goodbye got replaced with a new hello.

Reconcile

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The feeling of not being able to forgive

Will eventually eat you up

So choose to forgive

Forgetting isn’t easy

Thus, reconciliation isn’t always necessary

The world is so beautifully crafted

Yet the people who lives in this beautiful world

Are wearing masks of different characters

Speculating on different of rumours

What’s true and untrue cannot be differentiated

It’s so hard to remain calm

And you can’t reconcile

So keep quiet and walk away

It is time to do something right

For yourself

And let your light shine through. 🙂

Unsaid.

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Some things are better left unsaid.

Some things are labelled or defined black and white, but some things just need to linger in the grey areas before the heart and mind are aligned.

I disagree.

We were married for close to 25 years and I have the most beautiful wife on earth. I married my best friend, and our marriage was romance and flowers. We talk about everything. Absolutely everything. We talked about our dreams and deepest fear.

I always thought marriage between best friends can only come about when we are open and honest enough with each other. And that marriage between best friends holds no secrets. The marriage road is a rocky one, but honesty brought couples closer and closer each day.

They can spend the whole night talking because they would tell their best friend – which is absolutely everything.

Come to think about it, it is not the truth that destroys friendships/ marriages/ relationships.

It is the things left unsaid that destroys.

Talk to each other. Be honest with each other.

I’m gonna get drunk and say them anyway.

Where are you?

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He said, “I will miss you.” But he never call or text anymore.

Unknowingly, I just fell in love. Slowly. And then all at once. You and I, we were complicated people. We think a lot and our thoughts are about everything. So we ended up making our lives more difficult than it should be.

I love how you can be so honest with me. So vulnerable. So genuine. And I love your every single flaw. You know my super big dreams, and you supported me throughout difficult times. At the same time, I challenged you because I loved you. I wanted the best for you.

We became very good friends, but our minds were another story. I begin to wonder if we are just friends or more. They said, when he is the right man for you, you’ll never have to wonder where you stand. Because he will make it very clear, no matter where he is or what he is doing, your place is always right by his side.

Soon, things started to turn, we were both confused. I tried to make it work, but I can’t. Without his help. No matter how hard I try, how many tears rolled down my cheeks, you are not willing to stand up and fight to save our relationship. I wanted it so badly that I thought there was a solution to our differences. But there wasn’t. If one of us stops fighting, all is lost.

You said you weren’t ready. That was the hardest thing to accept. And you left.

I fell in love whenever we are together and fell deeper in love in the days when we are apart. I was hoping that you will come back to me. I thought I would grow old with you. But reality starts to hit, when you no longer seem to care. No longer call or text anymore.

There is nothing else I can do except to walk away. Sometimes, when it is finally over, what hurts you the most is not the fact that it is actually over, but rather it is that feeling that you somehow knew he wasn’t the right man for you, and you still choose to spend your time with him anyway. Falling in love with someone could actually cost you everything. My heart is broken. You made me so desperate and out of control that I had to transform my life, and I did.

 

When you choose to walk away, don’t blame yourself. Don’t question your worth. You did everything to hold on. But there is nothing to hold onto….your only option was to let go.