A gift.

I remember I was sitting in a large room for a meeting, putting up my hand, giving ideas even though it was scary for me, and then being ignored by the boss. My boss was listening to everybody’s ideas but not mines. I tried very hard to express myself, tie a ribbon to the gift to make it look appealing, but I was drowned out. The gift was snatched and it fell on the cold ground.

Then, another person will pick up the gift when there is nothing left and use my gift to impress another. I guess life is like that. Being so unfair. Acceptance of a gift is based on the looks of the giver, the color of the giver’s hair and etc. It makes my heart hurts just to think about it. Because I’m a human. Just like you, I yearn to be acknowledged and appreciated.

You, me, have gone through good and bad times. Sometimes, you think that you did your very best but you didn’t do enough or weren’t appreciated by others. Period. They said, nobody should ever question your worth. I guess it is true. You have to love yourself more, sometimes. You owe yourself the love that you are giving freely to others. You did your best and you deserve a huge pat on your back. Don’t just bash yourself for not being good enough. To be honest, how good is good?

In this world, there are scientists who died without their theory accepted, researchers died without their work being acknowledged. But I just want you to know that you are good enough. Your mind was just beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

But I’m here to tell you that you don’t need people who don’t appreciate you.

You know you have great ideas. You know you have wonderful thoughts. You have worked your ass off to complete a project. And you don’t need others to applaud. It’s hard, isn’t it? As much as we try to dismiss it, our worth is often based on the opinions of others. But it can’t go on like this. Life is gonna be miserable.

Instead, just be happy with your every gift. Tie a shinny ribbon around it with perfect wrapping. Place it under the tree. Then walk away. Leave with a smile, because you gave and the creation of the gift makes you happy. Maybe one day, your gift will make others happy. That’s all that matters.

“You don’t need anybody who doesn’t need you. Focus on who appreciates you.”
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For the love of…PIZZA

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The year of 2016 is going to end and my Instagram is full of engagement photos. It’s great that friends are getting hitched and people are in love.

Because I have too many weddings to attend, I need to eat so clean like, real clean to shed some weight. Just to look perfect in the dress. But soon, I’m so going to eat pizza like it’s a party!

I’m so so in love with pizzas!

 

 

Venerable.

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“Finally…”

He brought her home to meet his ailing grandfather. His grandfather was very weak, yet, he still lifted his head slowly to look deeply into her eyes. She sat down beside his grandfather so that he can have a closer look at her.

“You look very smart and knows how to carry yourself. You must be a very determined person and won’t easily give up. You crossed your legs while standing because you are very reserved and that’s why you are very careful with whatever you do. You smile from your heart but there is sadness in your eyes. Your clasping hands showed that you have something that you can’t let go but at the same time, you are trying to believe that you can.”

She cleared her throat and said, “Thank you, Ah Kong.”

Ah Kong reached for his grandson’s hand. And he held his Ah Kong’s hands tightly. Seeing the bond between grandfather and grandson brought big tears to her eyes.

His Ah Kong looked at him and said, “Treat her right. Your words and actions will last her a lifetime. Your bitter words, that day you were angry with her, those times you ignored her, when your friends are more important than her, the times you don’t walk with her to front door, she carries that in her mind.

She is beautiful because behind her, there is pain. She will remember that you made her happy. Wipe her tears, stroke her hair, support and be there for her. She will remember that you treat her like a lady, even when she is wrong. Teach her how to let go of things. You are now a big boy. You have to learn to love, to compromise, to nurture..the kind of man who makes a good husband and father.

If she loves you, be a good man, because if you don’t, you will lose her in the end…”

Ah Kong taught him and her about a good man. Her eyes misted over, and tears rolled down her cheeks. His grandfather began to breathe heavily. “Rest, Ah Kong, rest. I know. I know.” Ah Kong was struggling for each breath and in a few minutes, everything stopped.

He’d gotten emotional but she was glad that he’d shared it with her. She wiped away his tears, reaching over, hugged him and cried together. She wanted to comfort him, but words are hard to come by. Saying the right words is the hardest thing for her but Ah Kong’s words definitely impacted him and her.

 

A grandfather holds his grandchild’s hand for a while and their hearts for a lifetime.

NEVER KNEW YOUR SMILE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME

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Sitting right beside you, counting every independent unassisted movement.

Sitting right beside you, thinking how much I used to dislike you.

Sitting right beside you, realizing that you are a new person.

Sitting right beside you, I am your physiotherapist and friend.

I knew you were the most determined, the most hardworking patient, but nothing could ever prepare me for what was about to happen.

I thought the best gift I can give to anyone in this world – time. Something that money can’t buy.

I thought, I truly thought I did enough.

I was wrong.

I never knew this would happen.

Truth is, we can never be prepared. Nothing is enough. Enough to save a life.

I think I lost a patient. A friend.

Just so you know, I would give anything to listen to you talk on and on and on again.

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It’s funny how things can change so suddenly. 

Why are you dying to be perfect?

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Sometimes, putting thoughts into words would hopefully makes sense on the next day.

Dreams. I day dream a lot. Like, a lot. However, night dreams about falling off stairs is a common thing for me. The word “perfection” would be the culprit behind it. So I was thinking about it.

Well, people say that I deserve all the good things in the world. As I could just thank them shyly for being so lovely with their words, I can’t help but think that hey, I’m not all that they give me credit for. I’m a mess, a bundle of flaws too. It is amazing they see how God works in my life and how lovely, that they see me in a much better light.

But deep inside me, I am so imperfect.

Why are you, why am I trying to be perfect? Why are you, why am I spending time beating myself up for not being good enough? Why are you, why am I not able to give myself a pat on the back when someone compliments? Why are you, why am I comparing myself to better/smarter/more beautiful people than me? Why are you, why am I thinking about issues that are absolutely unnecessary but I do so anyway?

I have to admit that I strive very hard for perfection but again, who is God if I am perfect? God is perfect and I’m just that imperfect. “Perfection” is just a myth.

So here’s to everybody: Stop trying to be perfect. Focus on the whole human package and appreciate the faults. Find the beauty of imperfections and enjoy how you got there. Because the flaws of a person tell a great story, an unique story. Be this beautiful mess, stitched up with good intentions, and inspire others.

 

Sorry, I am not perfect.

Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

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That’s what you texted today. I decided to write down because I just feel sad and empty. I write because you exist in my life. The day could have been of good food and family – you know, things that make you feel happy when you are back to church with family and friends. But, I had to suck it all up.

It feels daunting when someone gives you a math problem to solve, asking you not to give up and when you are halfway through, the person snatches it away from you. Many patients asked us to let them go. I am no stranger to such words, but this time, I felt drenched in shame that in the darkest time of his life, my patient could not bring himself to trust me one more time. Because he thinks that I have too much on my plate.

What I wanted to say, I couldn’t say it. Nothing I say matters now. You wouldn’t listen. But I really wanted to tell you that the amount of stress I have is mines. And not yours. What I am going through is what I needed to go through. What you are going through is what you needed to go through to be a better person too. I just need you to trust me a little more that I can help you, I can help others, I can work and study at the same time. Just that. Is that too much to ask?

So I expect too much from you, cared too little and now it is too late to regret.

Being a physiotherapist can be emotionally punishing, sometimes thrilling and sometimes sobering. Once, I selfishly wished that someone else had faced all these instead of me. Haha. But overall, the best thing about being a physiotherapist was that you always go home with life lessons that made you a better physiotherapist tomorrow.

Today, I wrote it down because one day when I look back into my life, I know all that I’ve done has been in the name of love. 

Dear Students,

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Though each of you are wearing the same uniform, each of you have your own versions. The most common scene will be students staring at their phones and not communicating with friends. That’s the latest trend eh?

So many students with so many different characteristics. Some are happy, some are sad, some are rude. Some of you always ask for assistance in studies, some of you decided to keep quiet ALL the time.

But because of you, I learn too. As we are discussing, I learn about myself, I learn about you all and I learn about conflicts in general. When you kept quiet, I would learn how to smile and reassure you that you can ask any questions at any time. Sometimes I do get annoyed with student’s behaviour, but I learn that you could be struggling with many things that I may not know about. So I treated you the way I would want to be treated during a bad day.

I learn to accept all of you and treat you like equals, like the adults. I believe that people will learn more through interaction than long winded lectures.

So I want to thank all of you for giving me a chance to learn from you all. I know I can never learn enough, just like how I can’t teach you everything. But I hope you learn to make it on your own and go change the world.

Sincerely,

Your lecturer.

 

In learning, you will teach. And in teaching, you will learn. – Phil Collins

 

Life Is Precious.

I miss your jokes. I miss the way you held my hands. I miss the way you smiled back at me as I cracked some bad jokes. I miss the way you loved me in your own ways. Because of you, I look so fondly at every father that passes me by. As if, somehow, I was staring into your eyes again.

Time with you was never enough. I found myself not looking at all the pictures and videos that we took together. I miss you. I wish you were the one who walks me down the aisle, that you could have watched me marry the man that I love and seeing your grandchildren running around the house.

Today, you reminded me to lead the life the way you did. To never give up, to fight on, to never fear and always always be kind to others.

Today, I find myself missing you.

To those who are reading: Treasure the moments with your loved ones everyday. Take the time to capture moments and create memories. Yes, there would always be a “tomorrow”. It may not mean so much to you now, but it means a lot when pictures and videos are all you have left.

 

Love when you can, while you can, as much as you can.

P.S. I Love You

I was bored tonight, and I decided to watch this movie. I read the book so many years ago, but movie was good too. Still makes you cry!

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My darling Holly,
I don’t know where you are or when exactly you are reading this. I just hope that my letter has found you safe and healthy. You whispered to me not long ago that you couldn’t go on alone. You can, Holly.
You are strong and brave and you can get through this. We shared some beautiful times together and you made my life… you made my life. I have no regrets.
But I’m just a chapter in your life- there will be many more. Remember our wonderful memories, but please don’t be afraid to make some more.
Thank you for doing me the honour of being my wife. For everything, I am eternally grateful.
Whenever you need me, know that I am with you.
Love for ever,
Your husband and best friend,
Gerry.

Too touching. I need to sleep. Good night. 😥

“Sometimes there is only one thing left to say, P.S. I Love You….”

How to stay motivated at work

I am excited to work almost everyday. So here am I, giving you tips on how to stay motivated at work!

Positivity. You really need that. I know it is hard to stay motivated. Perhaps you are bored or tired. Or you lose interest in whatever you are doing.

1. Never be afraid of failure. If fail, then fail la. Try again lor. 

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2. Focus on the your work, not counting your time. I guess I have the passion la.

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3. Eat breakfast like a king, before starting work. Most of the time I don’t, but now I’ll try la.

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4. Create a to do list. Mines is like infinity to do list. Adui. 

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5. Take care of yourself physically too. Lets be honest. I run because I don’t wanna look bulat.

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6. DAYDREAM like me! Or maybe a joker. haha

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You just need to be more positive like me. You only live once, so live it to the fullest. 🙂

 

Happy people shine brighter.